Relationship Debt Problems – Get Your House In Order

Relationship Debt Problems

 
Relationship Debt Problems are a mutha! There’s no problem in a relationship like money problems.

There are some kinds of financial debt that, while they will may not automatically be good, are acceptable. For instance, the financial debt you have on your car which you pay off each and every month, or the money you must pay back on your home. That is not really bad debt, but rather, necessary debt.

However when you discover yourself in the red because a person bought way too many shoes, took way too many vacations, or perhaps went for that sleek new convertible rather than a less expensive and more conservative ride – then this a sure road to bad debt and it may just very well piss your partner off!

Just one of these debts is negative enough, but especially any time you have a number of these frivolous expenditures, your financial circumstances can become dicey, real quick.

Financial obligations take lots of time and require a great deal of work and discipline to pay off. Constantly having to readjust your budget and struggling not to fall behind in any of the bills takes its toll. Debt brings about BIG headaches, and there’s no magic pill cure for it -especially when your partner is constantly nagging you in the face about your ridiculous spending habits.

In fact, a number of people slip into a deep depression due to the amount of debt and stress they create for themselves, and their partners.

One problem for all of this debt confusion is a lack of communication. Many couples just don’t want to talk about it. Or feel they’re not ready to talk about their finances. Even after some people decide to tie the knot and get married, many of them still fail to discuss their financial situations.

Yes, it might sound ridiculous and even immature, but some partners refuse to talk about money and reveal their accounts with their partner.

Well let me tell you, relationship debt problems are a mutha! There’s no problems in a relationship like money problems.  Yeah, everything might be lovey dovey at the start, but just wait ’til those bills start piling up. Let’s see how much love you’ll be getting then.

Some debt situations become so much in dire straits that it leads to a breakup or divorce, and a bitter one at that! While most people don’t like to admit that money plays a substantial role in their lives, but money is just like breathing, you need it to live.

And when someone discovers that their partner has fallen off the financial obligation wagon, they can have a challenging time forgiving these irresponsible acts. Not only can the pair be in a sacrificed economic situation, but their “partnership of trust” will certainly be affected as an end result.

Do you really want this? Well then you better get your financial house in order, real quick!

37 thoughts on “Relationship Debt Problems – Get Your House In Order

  1. The pressure to keep up with your friends and family have people craving the best that money can buy, even if it’s borrowed money. Trying to clear debts and then starting afresh by saving for things will give couples a sense of achievement.

  2. I think when spouses or partners fail to discuss their finances – or anything, for that matter – the relationship is doomed to fail. Even if they’re not bringing it up to avoid a fight, not talking about it now can lead to bigger, worse fights in the future. While this certainly doesn’t explain the climbing divorce rates, communication gap has to be one of the main reasons why relationships fail.

    1. Money problems and lack of communication top the scales for relationship fails. Thank you and everyone else who stopped to comment.

  3. I think all partners or couples who share financials should discuss every purchase together before just buying whatever it is out right. If something is put on both peoples names it can affect both peoples credit scores if it is not paid off properly. Which would make it very difficult to purchase anything or getting a loan.

  4. I agree. Joint debt can cause problems even after a marriage. In my case, it delayed a divorce until we were able to jointly deal with the debts in bankruptcy court. I’d say be objective about the sort of job a perspective partner has and what sort of lifestyle they live. It’s difficult to ask questions regarding finances, but to have an idea can save us from many problems later on.

  5. I agree that the answer to monetary issues affecting relationships is open and honest conversations. I was surprised that there wasn’t a bigger emphasis on financial planning and budgeting. It seems to me that a couple that plans their financial future together is a sure fire way to stay out of debt and have regular open dialogues about money.

  6. I’m definitely inclined to feel like the lack of communication in various types of relationship that involve financial obligations turn down a darker, more mundane road because no one is talking to each other about their purchases and the obligations that came with it. Too Many people are living in a world where the pretty and gleaming items are the things they need to worry about rather than the necessities of a happy and less stress endured life.

  7. This article is spot on. I couldn’t agree more. Communication is key if you want to avoid a sacrificed economic situation or damage to the “partnership of trust” Two points to remember…it can be difficult or even impossible to discuss finances when one person’s answer is always something like “We’re fine. Quit worrying about it.” Also it doesn’t have to be big, expensive shopping sprees all the time. Small expenditures add up quickly when they occur constantly!

  8. I must admit that I’m guilty of not talking about our finances with my partner. None of us have serious debt problems, though. As newly-grads we both try to minimize spending and maximize our savings. When the bills start piling up we’ll have to sit down and talk about how to sort them out,and I hope that our relationship can weather this test.

  9. Debt has caused many problems with my relationship. There’s never an easy way out….seems like a constant struggle.

  10. Everything about this article is spot on!! When you are single with no children it is easy to get wrapped up in your own little world, and spend to much. Every one has spent too much money at one point or another, it’s easy to do. Going into a marriage with debt, can however be an issue. Accruing more debt while married, can easily become an even bigger issue. Personally, my husband and I have argued about money and debt on more than one occasion, it is very common in any marriage.

  11. That is so true! Just speaking about one’s debt problems to our partner can do us a world of good. It works both ways- whether you’re the cause of the debt or the victim. If you’re the one creating the debt, speaking about it at the right time can avert a major catastrophe in your relationship while as a victim speaking about it can really get ur partner to spend more responsibly.

  12. I moved to a completely different country and made sure I had all my “necessary debt” paid off first. My wife, my reason for moving, has debt out the ass but still has good credit because it gets paid every month. It’ll take forever to pay, but slow and steady wins the race I guess.

  13. As a young college graduate I must admit my finances aren’t all that great. I was very fortunate to have found a man with no monetary problems and I never thought much about it. That relationship ended on good terms but I was suddenly faced with the harsh reality of supporting myself. With my new relationship once again he makes more money than I do but we both know this and he is willing to pay for most of everything until I can start earning some real money. It’s just a matter of being open about it, not feeling ashamed, and always striving to be better.

    1. Thanks for your comment Esteffania. Sounds like you have definitely grown and matured both in your relationships and finances. I wish you the best.

  14. Trust, communication, & transparency is essential to any relationship. I agree that even a bad debt can wreck a perfect marriage.

  15. My husband and I have been together for eleven years. It wasn’t until about two years ago, when I couldn’t work anymore, that we started discussing our finances. I’m so glad we did. We now own a new car and are closing on a house within a week. It was too scary before to not know where the money to pay the bills was going to come from in the long run.

  16. I’ve realized from my own experiences that maturity and discipline are essential factors which determines the degree of financial strength within my relationships. I do wonder why most couples are hesitant to share their economic habits with each other? Maybe it’s because innately we know we should be doing better.

    Since we live in an unforgiving economic system, maybe the key is to learn the “8 Key Principles of Regenerative Capitalism”. Maybe then we’ll see a wide range of relationship debt improvements.

  17. Bank credit cards are another way to build up credit. Those establishments have ways to assist in building credit with various types of credit cards. As long as the payments are being made on time there will be an effect on credit. Just another suggestion.

  18. Communication is always the key. You need to be in a relationship where teamwork is practice. You have to be responsible for whatever you spend on your money on. Don’t hide to your partner about spending.

  19. Obviously there will be debt issues, but we might be losing another point here. The reason for bad debt is financial education. The one who don’t know how to manage their cash, end up in debt. Be it any one in any relationship.
    It doesn’t matter how much money you make. It mattrrs how much you keep it to yourself. And in relationships it is the prime responsibility of both the partners to see how to make the good use of their money. Communicating with each other at that level that they both get to realize what they actually need to spend their hard earned money on.

  20. Finances are some of the toughest part of a relationship. After 3 marriages, I have learned that money is something that can make or break a couple. In my current relationship we were upfront with our bad credit situation with one another. We printed out our credit reports and began planning how to pull and build each other up. We have worked to repay outstanding debts one item at a time. This has been long process but we feel like we are achieving success with each notch our credit increases.

  21. When the relationship is a good one both partners should know where the money goes and both agree where to spend it; if this doesn´t exist your relationship is based on a lie, leave it.

  22. If marriage is for better or worse, then couples should be able to help each other in times of need. No man or woman is an island.

  23. I’m currently on a 6 year relationship with a wonderful partner. And when you are with someone this long, your daily lives (and shopping receipts), get intertwined. I am more thrifty on money and I try to make sure that there is an allotted budget for necessities, investments/savings and a little leisure. My partner tends to be more of the “come what may” type, and treats himself on the gadgets once in a while. Because of that, we really need to give time in a week to talk about current expenses and future budget, to avoid misunderstandings and bottled up feelings. The good thing is we both agree that unnecessary debt is not good, whether in a relationship or individually. So we both make sure NOT to buy anything we cannot pay cash. Unless its emergency.

    1. “NOT to buy anything we cannot pay cash. Unless its emergency.” Wow! That’s some great disciple. Glad it works for your relationship:)

  24. I really think that relationships and finances dont always go hand in hand.
    Sometimes its better to keep finances separeate from your partner. and reach some sort of pre agreement. kind of like roomates.
    just reach a porcentage in terms of mutual expenses. Its easier if you dont want to go through all the hassle of mutual finances.

  25. I totally agree with the writer’s point of view. Marriage should be based on trust and if one person is facing financial difficulties, it would be best for them to confide in their partner. This might not help solve their debt problem but let them share their issue with another healthy mind!

  26. I agree that when two souls unite there has to be absolute transparency in everything. But through the ages we have seen marriages taking place between two human beings only to give legality & social acceptance for certain activities. Even in cases of love marriages we hardly have time, intention and strength to know our partner fully. Regarding finance we are generally satisfied if the income is good and number of dependants is low, we never bother about other details. Thus I think cases of break up due to partner’s irresponsible financial activities is there to stay with us.

  27. Actually, this is one of the problems of our days and our society. First of all, there are many people who just want to join one each other, and not take the commitment that it involves: Life is tough, and everything is right when there aren´t financial problems, but if, for some reason, someone account starts to cross the red line, it’s absolutely necessary that the couple get more opened and talk together, trying to attack the problem at the beginning, Otherwise it will be a tremendous stumble in the relationship, and the beginning… of the end.

  28. This is a real stumbling block in marriages today. Partners do not trust each other with their finances nor are willing to talk about it for fear of ridicule from the partner or in many cases for fear of the future (in case of divorce)

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